A year ago, I was the new college graduate with a plan. I was the adventurous, wayfaring traveller with a hoop nose ring and a tattoo scrawled along the inside of her left foot. I was guarded, skeptical, desperate to be noticed and loved, yet hopeful, determined and as prepared as one could be for a journey like the World Race.
I am not the girl I was.
I am coming back changed, a woman now instead of a girl. The hoop is gone and my tattoo is a little blurry from a year spent in the sun. The guards around my heart have been quietly relieved of duty. I’m slowly tearing down the walls they patrolled so carefully. The process of dismantling has happened brick by cemented brick. It has required more courage, more grace and more love than I could have possessed on my own.
I have learned that love is above every other thing and that to truly love will always cost you something precious. Sometimes it will cost you every piece of your shattered heart. And when that happens, I have learned to cling tightly to the hope I profess because He who promised is faithful.
And I confess, that I am not prepared to come back to the US at all. I am not ready. I am not sure of what comes after this undefinable year. I do not have a plan.
All I know is that the LORD has promised a great many things to me, things that started even before I was born, when my parents chose Jeremiah 29:11 as our family verse. Here, He promises me that He has it all planned out and that His plans are those to take care of me, not abandon me, plans to give me the future I hope for.
And He who promises is faithful.
If you’re still reading this, thank you for following my journey. I’m looking forward to sharing this next chapter with you.